But God Knew

I have had the link to the blog post by Big Mama about being single, saved on my computer for several months now. The first time I read it, it resonated deeply within me. The same happened each time I read it.

The waiting really is the hardest part.

I have been single for 3.5 years, which on one hand, seems like forever, but on the other hand really isn't that long.

That changed a week ago. Everything changed. Since it's "Facebook official", I guess that means it's real. Still doesn't seem fully real to me.
After my last breakup, I figured I'd need only a few weeks, get over it, move on, find someone else. Boy was I ever wrong.
But God knew.
I lived under a cloak of denial, shame, guilt and hurt for months on end. Before that I lived with a crushing secret, one that when revealed would bring me to my knees.
But God knew.
I didn't think I would ever be OK again. I figured that that I would be forever broken, shamed and destroyed. I thought that because he took a part of me, he had taken all of me.
But God knew.
I didn't think I would ever find someone who would want me, broken parts and all. Even more than that, I didn't think I would ever pick up the pieces, didn't think that I would ever remotely heal.
But God knew.
My new years resolution was to start dating again, but I wasn't really sure if that would really happen. I gave online dating a try, and lo and behold, it worked. I found someone.
God knew, and will continue to know.