A safer form of speed

I am a little bit drained. Okay maybe a lot a bit. I had about four cups of coffee today, and it felt like all my cells were vibrating. It was r.i.d.i.c.u.l.o.u.s. That's pretty much the metaphor of my life though. It's like speed, but safer.

I can't believe I find myself in love with him. Three weeks ago, I didn't even know him. Today, I can't imagine not knowing him. I still can't believe I am worthy of love, of his love. Regardless of what I'm bringing into this relationship, he still wants to love me. Wow. That concept is more than I can begin to handle.

I haven't quite wrapped my head around the fact that I'm in a relationship, that I'm dating, that I'm in love with a guy, that a guy is in love with me, and that this isn't short term. For the commitment-phobe in me, that's a pretty hard concept to grasp. I keep thinking I'm going to scare him off, that he's going to become to overwhelmed with me and walk away
.
I don't believe that though. I think if he was going to walk, he would have done that already. While he doesn't know everything, he knows enough to make a valid decision about me and whether or not I'm worth it. I guess I am.

I love him. I love that he loves me, all of me, that he would rather hold me tight than push me away when I tell him heavy stuff.
I'm enjoying discovering what a relationship is supposed to look like.











Even if it's only in 3 weeks.